🐟 Aquatic Performance
Fish Eye Contact Training Kit™
Finally hold a conversation.
$69.99
Fish are notorious for poor eye contact. They stare past you, through you, and occasionally directly at a wall. The Fish Eye Contact Training Kit™ uses a series of visual anchors and focal exercises designed to help your fish sustain meaningful eye contact for up to 0.3 seconds. Includes a laminated guide your fish cannot read and a tiny mirror they will ignore.
Specifications
Training Duration6 weeks
Eye Contact Goal0.3 seconds
Success RateUnmeasured
IncludesMirror, focal anchors, laminated guide
Reviews
Gerald
Goldfish
“I saw myself in the mirror. I did not recognize myself. I have already forgotten.”
Simone Archer
Eye Contact Training Kit owner
“My fish made eye contact with me for the first time in three years. It lasted 0.1 seconds. I wept.”
